Thursday, November 28, 2013

still snowing

since the  night of the 25th.


all day and night.

night and day.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

first snow of the season
banja luka bosnia

it started last night and hasn't stopped.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

back in pakostane croatia

out of peru in time for a visit from my cousin diane. ahhh, a perfect excuse to head back to my favorite little seaside apartment in pakoŇ°tane croatia before winter falls.

Saturday, September 28, 2013

no wonder i can't breathe
in banja luka

view from the window of my new digs.

Monday, September 23, 2013

got some new digs
in banja luka bosnia

found a furnished apartment with heat.   i won't be a slave to the woodstove this winter.   so i got that going for me. 

Sunday, August 25, 2013

lima peru is big

and we weren't there for long. wimped out and hired a driver for a full day tour of the city. insider tips on the best places for ceviche. yum!

Friday, August 23, 2013

saksaywaman? sacsayhuaman?
me and some big rocks

me and some big rocks that fit together with super tight joints (the rocks, not me) with no mortar.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

cusco peru

pleasantly surprised.  liked it.  it feels good.  

saw a bunch of stuff. 

here's a couple o' churches on the main square for those into churchy architecture stuff. 

Sunday, August 18, 2013

ollantaytambo peru
coldy cold cold
and burny

elevation: 2792 feet

so, yeah, well... hmmmm....  hot and humid amazon jungle to a cold and windy mountaintop in one day.

the skin on my face morphed into something that felt like parchment paper, my lips cracked, and the corners of my mouth split - all within hours of arriving.   

freezing in the shade.  burny in the sun.  no in-between.

oh yeah, and this place, ollantaytambo, is an incan village that has been continuously occupied for 500-ish years or so, and has a bunch of ruins built into super steep mountainsides .

trying to get warm without getting burned

Sunday, August 11, 2013

a death in iquitos


i am conflicted.

we finally tired of finding nesting material in our hats and poop on our table.

they do not sell mousetraps here. just poison. 

the broom handle we stuck in the door to the offender's house in our room only served to excite it into a frenzy of entrance-expanding chewing.

today, i surprised it / it surprised me as i grabbed a shirt to wear. it froze. a super giant mouse?  a small rat? i cannot say. i let out an involuntary scream. 

10 minutes later, it was cornered and beaten to death with a broom stick by my older, moderately scary-looking peruvian room mate. 


Sunday, August 4, 2013

let me introduce you to my little friend


he walks the streets day and night.
(that's me in the background.)

looking frazzled.  preoccupied.

z things he has to walk to avoid being driven mad - more mad - by the incessant deafening noise of the city.

i make eye contact, smile and say hello every day.  and most days his face lights up momentarily and  i get a surprised smile back.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Sunday, July 28, 2013

the little guy under my chair

he keeps me company while i use the internet.

Monday, July 22, 2013

sri nisargadatta maharaj
rocking the amazon - edition 4

"The objective universe is in constant movement, projecting and dissolving innumerable forms. Whenever a form is infused with life (prana), consciousness appears by reflection of awareness in matter."

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I Am That

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

a little arco iris over the amazon

i never seem to have a camera on me when the giant ones appear, but this'll do just fine.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

where i stay when i'm not in the amazon jungle

on the top floor of this building, which is more of a shared housing place than a hostel.

with some of these very cool people.

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

pink dolphins on the amazon

spot that flash of pink in the water?

it's a dolphin. we floated silently on the water and watched them play around us for 20 minutes.
not a bad day, all in i got to hold a sloth too. which was nice. and slothy.

Monday, July 8, 2013

sri nisargadatta maharaj
rocking the amazon - edition 3

"The source of consciousness cannot be an object in consciousness. To know the source is to be the source. When you realize that you are not the person, but the pure and calm witness, and that fearless awareness is your very being, you are the being. It is the source, the Inexhaustible Possibility."

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I Am That

Sunday, July 7, 2013

sri nisargadatta maharaj
rocking the amazon - edition 2

"Consciousness itself is the greatest painter. The entire world is a picture."

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I Am That

Saturday, July 6, 2013

z and the
giant amazonian ceiba tree

bigness factor = high

mosquito factor = exponentially higher

Friday, July 5, 2013

3 days of protests in iquitos outside my bedroom window

ok, they weren't all outside my bedroom window, but they passed by on their daily and nightly rounds of breaking stuff and burning stuff whilst carrying big sticks.

the tail end of the crowd passing by

the aftermath

Thursday, July 4, 2013

a regular ace ventura
in the making

monkeys can be heavy and rather fickle. macaws, not so much.  but they like to nibble at ankles sometimes.

Wednesday, July 3, 2013

sri nisargadatta maharaj
rockin' the amazon - edition 1

Awareness is primordial; it is the original state, beginningless, endless, uncaused, unsupported, without parts, without change. 

Consciousness is on contact, a reflection against a surface, a state of duality.

There can be no consciousness without awareness, but there can be awareness without consciousness, as in deep sleep.

Awareness is absolute, consciousness is relative to its content; consciousness is always of something.  Consciousness is partial and changeful, awareness is total, changeless, calm and silent.  And it is the common matrix of every experience.

Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj
I Am That

Friday, June 28, 2013

Monday, June 24, 2013

you're never lost with jungle jeannie leading the way

gratitude for this interesting jungle woman, for sure.

jeannie navigating the nanay around padre coche, peru.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

the jungle wants to eat me

first, how to get parasites that bore into the bottom of your feet in a hot second without you ever feeling it:

next, the handiwork of something other than mosquitos, consensus says tiny little ants:

Saturday, June 22, 2013

Monday, June 17, 2013

into the amazon

that's where i'm headed now. into the amazon jungle. no electricity. screened in tambo with the luxury of a composting toilet instead of a hole in the ground. so there's that.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

this anaconda is licking me.
do he bite?

licking, licking, licking, licking my arm.
ok, smelling me.

Friday, June 14, 2013

piranha for lunch, anyone?

and no, that is not a saucer. it's a dinner plate. that is one big piranha, mi amigo...

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

iquitos, peru

that's where i am these days. should i ever manage to find a capable internet connection, i shall post a photo or two.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

shopping for meat in madrid

that's quite a bit of meat, sir!

Saturday, June 8, 2013

madrid, spain from below

now i'm here. funny how much it looks and feels like california. and how much the people look like me.

madrid, spain from above

it's all arty looking.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013


the pile of cinderblocks and styrofoam that i've been wintering in has turned into this:

time to move on.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

note to self

gurunam singh 
touch every heart 

gurudev mata  / the wisdom of the universe is your mother
gurudev pita / the infinite light of the divine is your father
gurudev swami paramesura / the force of consciousness at the center of your heart is your teacher

Monday, April 15, 2013

if only i could balance the apparent high dopaminergic activity in my left striatum and ventromedial prefrontal cortex with ease and grace


 i find myself in it, usually far more than is required, a great deal of the time.

like when standing. or reaching. or washing dishes. steeling my legs in effort when i can simply relax in balance and let my arms do all the work.

why?  based on the article the neuroscience of effort, perhaps it's the way i'm wired, the innate mix of my neurons and chemical soup. working hard even when the payoff is minuscule.

"...[research] subjects showing greater dopaminergic activity in the left striatum and ventromedial prefrontal cortex were more willing to work hard in exchange for greater rewards. These differences were especially striking when the probability of a payout was low. Although the odds are actually getting [a payout] were minuscule, these subjects found a way to stay motivated."

Friday, April 5, 2013

tie it up with a bow and toss it on the bonfire

i faced my attacker today.

well, over the telephone from thousands of miles away, but still...

i testified in a state bar court disciplinary trial against the attorney that - through his year-after-year relentless pursuit of totally baseless litigation against me and a family i once had - started the ball rolling on the complete destruction of every facet of my previous life. when he was done - well even before he was done - i had lost my partner, the home i had barely just finished designing and building, my life savings, most of my possessions, my health, and two people i once considered my closest friends.

pretty much everything. pretty much.

there was no benefit to me for testifying. but maybe it'll make it a little harder for him to destroy other lives.  yeah, maybe...

so.... anyhoo.....

the format

....don't forget to fill your suitcase
now watch it sink
'cause where we're going we don't need a thing
not a map, or a seed.

'cause where we've been is who we used to be...

past the pavement that we used to walk
past the people that we used to know
now come on, go

Monday, March 11, 2013

it's a dance in the one

the sickness is finally lifting and i can see again.

121 (One to One)
Satyaa & Pari & Mira

Sunday, March 3, 2013

i open my heart

i've been sick for 2 weeks. in bed, no energy, starting to get angry. how dare this flu invade my body. i'm straining, trying to circumvent, to assert control over the enemy - nature.

right. nature.  i'm lapsing back into an old mindset of fighting what is.

and then, this night, i am awakened by the moon so big and low in the sky, lighting up my room as if it's day. the sound of howling wind. the bigness of the universe and the smallness of my petty struggle. i lay awake letting the light and the wind sweep through me.

and i hear this soundtrack in my head, accompanying my private little middle-of-the-night show.  nature just humming along.  doing its thing.

so what, you big baby.  it's just the flu.

i open my heart.  even to the flu.

Finally Mine
H.O.S.H & Misstress Barbara - Gorge Remix

Saturday, February 23, 2013

another one of the universe's little mysteries

how is it that there is a seemingly endless supply of these on the top of my armoire?

i don't put them there.

i can't even see the top of my armoire.

yet even when i'm sure i've eaten the last of them, the next time i feel around up there, there is more.  perhaps it's best not to question, just appreciate.

Friday, February 22, 2013

here's what happens when you accidently knock your wrightsocks coolmax running socks off the back of the woodstove where they were drying and onto the firebox below

due to my lightening-fast reflexes

- ok, not lightening-fast enough to snatch my socks out of out of mid-air whilst in the midst of an extreme forward lean (if i only had longer arms) over the hot fronty part of the stove while attempting to hang a pair of boxers on the back of the stove without burning my crotchal area (yes, i was naked again) on said hot fronty part of the stove - 

the socks were only on the stovetop for a fraction of the second, yet suffered instant meltdown of the outer layer. the inner layer is still intact so i still have 3 pair of socks.  and not just any socks.  3 pair of the only socks in the world that don't give me blisters.  3 pair of preciousness.

3 is the magic number, by the way.  3 pair of socks.  3 underwear.   that's how i roll.   though it looks like i'll be rolling with 1 less pair of socks a tad sooner than anticipated.

to get a gander of my burny woodstove, it's prominently featured in a recent post about why my underwear smell like soup.