Wednesday, June 16, 2010

i'm going home

Dan Auerbach Goin' Home

i've spent too long away from home
did all the things i could have done
gone are the days of endless thrills
i know i'm not the only one

so long, i'm goin', goin' home...

i saw the streets all ripe with jewels
balconies and the laundry lines
they tried to make me welcome there
but their streets did not feel like mine

so long, i'm goin', goin' home...

i want the sun to hit my face
through oak trees in the open lot
forget about the things you want
be thankful for what all you got

so long, i'm goin', goin' home...

- dan auerbach

Monday, June 14, 2010

the fever and the feedbag

i am three days into a raging fever that even my old standby advil cannot contain for long.  i cannot breathe.  my lungs are full and i cannot breathe.  i'm suffocating and i'm hot.  i'm so so hot.

my dreams are vivid.  vivid and sweaty. 

i dream of names that i am supposed to remember: someone hudson hodges - but forget. 

i dream of a stroke.  a stroke or a tumor that makes my eyes sensitive to light and renders me unable to speak and traces patterns in the air in front of my open eyes.  patterns i cannot disperse or even change by blinking or squinting or vigorous rubbing.  patterns that become more and more complex and start to blot out the "reality" in front of me.

i wake up and the hunger begins. there is nothing but the hunger.  pasta, sandwiches, soup, king bars, whatever is offered.  i am awake and i strap on the feedbag and i cannot fill the hunger.

stupid fever.