forcibly ejected from my life as i knew it

On this day I was forcibly ejected from my life as I knew it. Pushed kicking, screaming, crying, dry-eyed, numbed, despairing, relieved, from my relationship of seven years, my home-building project of two years, and the dream of what my future was going to be.

On this day I was forced to acknowledge that the transformation that had been evolving my entire life had been accelerating over the past four years beginning when I left my soul-killing corporate job to rediscover the truth at the core of myself and to become healthy again.

On this day, the best thing that could have ever happened to me in my life might have actually happened, though I didn't realize it at the time.

So what actually happened? I don't know that I've really fully grasped the whole thing, and I don't know that I really want to or need too. So right now, this is what I can say: I met a man and it was really, really good and we thought we were going to spend our lives together. Things were good for a long time until a weird melodramatic series of events relentlessly kicked our butts for 2+ years.

The details are unbelievably tedious, but it involved me spending two years immersed in designing and managing the construction of our new home; my partner spending long periods of time away from home on business; living in a room in his parents' home while our belongings were in storage the whole time; and being sucked into a nightmare in which we were forced to defend our right to access and build a home on our property in a protracted, ridiculous, malicious civil lawsuit brought about by persons that (in my opinion) appear to be seriously disturbed on many levels.

Eventually the home was completed, and the (in my opinion) misguided cretins lost the lawsuit, but at a cost hitting six figures by the time we're done defending ourselves against their multiple frivolous appeals

So just when I had begun to think that the weirdness was winding down and we might have a chance to regain a normal life, I was informed that we're over and that I need to leave. We're broken and I don't know what else to say.

As I go back and read this, it all sounds so melodramatic and trite. But whatever it sounds like, it was my life. And now this is my life. I am forced to leave my home, the love I thought I had, the future I thought I had, the life I thought I had built. At 46, I'm starting over from scratch. I've got a laptop and a backpack and here I go.